My scrap of dirt

Leçon du MAG numéro 1: On ne dit pas à quelqu'un qu'il est homophobe, on lui fait remarquer que ses propos sont homophobes. Ça permet d'être moins sur la défensive, et d'avoir une conversation plus fructueuse qu'une série de justification de le part de la personne sur le thème "pourquoi je ne suis pas homophobe" (j'ai des amis homos/je vote à gauche/je trouve les homos mignons/ma super garagiste est gouine/j'étais pour le pacs/insert your own).

Dans le même genre, donc, je voudrais suggérer qu'on ne cherche pas à argumenter que Brice Hortefeux est ou n'est pas raciste. A la place je voudrais qu'on réfléchisse à pourquoi ses propos étaient racistes. Peut-être que comme ça on pourrait peut-être se mettre à penser à pourquoi quelqu'un qui n'est pas "raciste" et qui est apprécié par des gens tels que le recteur de la Grande mosquée de Paris peut se retrouver à avoir des propos racistes.

Parce qu'il est bien là, le noeud du problème. De plus en plus dans nos sociétés occidentales les gens ne sont pas racistes, ils ne sont pas homophobes. Ce que je veux dire par là c'est qu'ils ne se concoivent pas racistes ou homophobes et qu'effectivement la plupart du temps ils n'ont pas de problème à l'idée de côtoyer des homos et de beurs, ils en ont sans doute parmi les amis et collègues, et ils ne leur viendraient pas à l'idée d'aller casser du PD pour s'amuser. Et pourtant ces mêmes gens ont toujours (inconsciemment) des modèles homophobes et racistes dans la tête qui leur font dire des choses homophobes ou racistes beaucoup plus régulièrement qu'on ne voudrait l'avouer. Et ce n'est pas sans conséquence.

Ce n'est pas une question de racisme ou d'homophobie individuelle. Pas foncièrement. (Ce qu'il ne veut pas dire que les gens ouvertement racistes ou homophobes n'existent plus.) C'est une question d'images, de symboles et de schémas culturels. Et si on arrêtait de s'accuser les uns les autres et de chercher à prouver qu'on est toujours le moins raciste/homophobe des deux, on pourrait être un peu plus productif et s'interroger sur les schémas racistes qui nous restent, à tous. Alors allons-y, avouons-le une fois pour toutes qu'on est tous un peu racistes. C'est plus facile d'essayer d'arrêter de l'être quand on a réussi à faire face à nos propres préjudices.

C'est un peu comme quand je traîne avec des francophones qui laissent échapper un "on est pas des tapettes" ou "c'est pas une pluie de tapette" et qui s'empressent de s'excuser ou de me dire 'sans vouloir te vexer' (ou autre). Clairement, je m'en fous qu'on s'excuse quand je suis dans le coin. Je ne crois pas non plus que les gens qui disent ça sont horribles ou homophobes ou quoique ce soit. Mais je voudrais - puisqu'ils ont déjà fait le premier pas de se rendre compte que c'était un peu la honte de dire ça quand je suis là - qu'ils réfléchissent à pourquoi est ce que c'est toujours une expression acceptable dans la langue française. Pourquoi est ce que des gens très bien éduqués à ne pas dire que les homos c'est quand même un peu moins bien que les hétéros laissent toujours échapper ce (sale) tapette?

Random link / rec of the day :
A very interesting post about the word canon and the whole sub/Dom/top/bottom terminology by technosage.

Also, just discovered Piers Faccini thanks to fan_elune and I love his style. Right now I'm obsessed with "Circles around you" and "Come the harvest", which I both find so sadly beautiful.

Watched The Office today for the first time, the episode directed by Joss Whedon - and god, that show makes my heart ache with quiet sadness. It's so horrible in a way. I don't think I could actually watch it regularly. Just too painful, the everyday, insignificant sort of pain, but in a way it strikes so much closer to home than anything else.

Fan' is preparing a real con report, but I've got to say a few things myself about this weekend.

- Until the very last moment, I could not wrap my mind around the fact I was about to see Sean for real. And the moment he strode on stage is probably stuck in my mind forever, seriously.

- The Meet and Greet was absolutely wonderful, and I was very lucky to be sitting right next to the guests whenever they came to sit at our tables. We saw Sean last, and tension was mounting a little bit as he was getting to tables nearby ours, but then he sat down next to me and it went so well. I started talking and he went, "Are you American?", to which I admitted I was French, and he immediately said he was learning French. Then proceed to SAY THINGS IN FRENCH. With the cutest accent ever, obviously. OMG.

- Morena cracking up was about the hilariest thing to witness. Sean started laughing so hard as well the next day too, and I LOVE it. It's so communicative and amazing and I love seeing people laugh so hard. It's a beautiful thing.

- Sean and Jewel exchanged 'I love yous' during their panel for fun, and then during the closing ceremony, Sean said a bit about all the guests and he got to Jewel and started saying how much he loved her, really, and his voice actually cracked he was so emotional about that. Jewel got up and stood next to him offering him her lips and then he turned around and saw that and they kissed, which was the sweetest thing ever.

- Sweetest thing ever, runner-up : Sean and Jewel have this thing, they think Kaylee and Simon should have a baby. When we were waiting to get their signatures, these two people were there with their kids, one of them was running around because he was like, 2? Anyway. Queue was being held up by Michael Fairman so Sean had nothing to do. He spots the kid, gets up, scoops him up - which was SO. CUTE. the way he nuzzled and talked to the kid. And then he walks by the queue over to where Jewel can see him and goes, "It's ours! They just gave me a baby!" *awwws like mad*

- This guy came up and started by apologizing profusedly to Sean for having to ask that question, explaning his sister couldn't make it but she's the hugest Sean fan and he had to ask for her. Cut to Sean looking more and more like, "er, shit, what's he gonna ask". And then the guy goes, "boxers, briefs or thongs?" Cut to Sean and Jewel cracking up like crazies, Sean first answering, "I don't wear underwear" before going "er, depends on the day?" and finally going "boxers". I loved that he didn't just dodge the question, actually was trying to find the right answer. *g* And then at least twice during the panel, Sean randomly replied "boxers." to a couple of questions. *g*

- Signatures : In Deauville, Nathan had signed my Finding Serenity book, "Merci! Pour tout!" (without being asked, since he knows some French and he's Nathan) and since Sean's learning French, there was no way he wasn't signing in French. And then I figured every guest should try to write something in French. Morena only knew "ça va!" but she didn't forget the little squiggle ; Michael checked that he had "pour" right and then wrote "pour Hélène, merci!" ; Sean asked "comment on dit... avec amour?" which we confirmed so he wrote that, and that alone is enough to make me want to hug him tight ; Christina said she knew "un petit peu" de français, but didn't know what to sign, so I told her to write anything, really, so she signed "Fromage!" ; Mark can actually speak French but he's very shy about it so he just went for "A bientôt!" ; and Jewel, being Canadian, also knows some French, and with the help of her agent (and me for spelling) she came up with, "Je voudrais du vin, s'il vous plaît!". Brilliant. I'm so happy they all did it!!! *hearts all of them*

That's it for now. Fan''s report will have so, so much more. And I'm truly amazed by how sweet Sean was and how easy he was to talk to.

Okay, back to resizing pictures so I can do a picspam later!!! Eeeee. Can you tell I'm not thinking about going back to class tomorrow morning??

Lots of random stuff because I'm bored out of my mind doing paperwork for the MAG and can't focus.

Remember when I told you guys to check out Eric's blog? He's recently put up two mp3 to show the evolution of his voice over the months. It's impressive, really. And awesome for him.

Here's a BBC article about unusual foreign words. It's a bit nerdy, but I love it and I'm not ashamed of it! I particularly like the "mi esposa, mis esposas" bit. *g*

Finally, inxsomniax shared a picture of her two cats, and it's a gorgeous picture of two absolutely adorable cats, so I had to share.

That is all! I'm watching way too much Friends lately, but it's fun and addictive.


EDIT : Okay, miss_kao pointed it out and the more I think about it, the more I absolutely love that word from the BBC article.
"The Fuegians (from Tierra del Fuego) have a succinct word - 'mamihlapinatapai' and it means 'two people looking at each other each hoping the other will do what both desire but neither is willing to do'."
I don't know how, but I'm so using that word one day. It's absolutely brilliant.