My scrap of dirt

Coming Out in Middle School
(I don't think this will go into the archives)

“When I first realized I was gay,” Austin interjected, “I just assumed I would hide it and be miserable for the rest of my life. But then I said, ‘O.K., wait, I don’t want to hide this and be miserable my whole life.’ ”

I asked him how old he was when he made that decision.

“Eleven,” he said.

--

I'm a very easy audience for stories about queer youth. Almost anything or everything about them touches me deep inside. I'm not even sure why, because I didn't put one and one together until my late teens myself and so these stories of finding oneself and navigating school as a queer kid are not my own. Well, there's not part of my individual history, anyway, because in so many ways they are mine. Over the years, I have heard them from so many people, I have lived them through friends, I have told them to countless people - these are narratives that I know so well, struggles that I understand so much.

I still remember at the MAG when we weren't sure what to do because the organization had originally been created for youth 16-25 and kids younger than that started to show up. Already we were surprised, and we weren't that much older. We welcomed them, obviously, and we continue to do so. I'm the one who welcomed the first 15-year-old that came in, and I still think of him so fondly today.

We live in such a heteronormative world - heterosexuality is everywhere, in what we say, what we see, what we hear - and to think that these kids at 10, 11, 12, already have enough strength and maturity to say they will not put up with it, they will not let it decide what feels good and what is right for them. I can't begin to explain how much this article makes me want to be more than a reader. I know I already am, in a way, because of the volunteer work I still do with LGBT youth and young adults, but I want to be even more, I miss the involvement I had with the MAG. I miss helping create a space where LGBT youth - where they, where we - could come together and find friends and talk and laugh and be happy. Being part of this community, once you scratch beyond the self-hatred and the prejudice, it's a beautiful thing, and I want to keep celebrating it, I want to keep helping youth find it.

There are things that interrogate me and bother me in the article, almost all of them having to do with different expectations for girls and boys. But regardless, the stories of these kids are heart-warming and heart-wrenching, and I hope I will keep being close to these narratives for a long while. Not just as a reader, not just as a researcher - but as someone who is part of a support system that celebrates kids who are different and wonderful and feisty and funny.

Un peu tard pour faire un edit de mon post précédent sur le sujet, mais (toujours pour ceux que ça intéresse), le MAG est passé sur le JT de 13H de France 2!

A voir ici sur le site de France 2. Le sujet sur la gay pride commence à 13'07'', et ça enchaîne sur le sujet du MAG à 13'30'. Ca donne une bonne idée de ce que donne les interventions du MAG "en vrai" sauf que là c'est moins le bazar que dans certaines classes ;) (faut dire que c'était visiblement une petite classe et en plus les caméras ça doit aider).

Bon après à voir les trucs que les élèves sortent c'est un réflexe, j'ai envie de leur répondre et je suis frustrée que le reportage ne montre pas toujours la réponse claire des intervenants (car les gens qui regardent le JT ne l'ont pas forcément, la réponse, et j'imagine que du coup les téléspectateurs ont des chances de se dire "bah c'est vrai il a raison le gamin") mais bon à moins de faire tout le JT sur ça c'était pas possible. ;) J'ai beaucoup aimé la franchise de tous les élèves, moi c'est ça que j'aime dans les interventions que j'ai faites avec le MAG, et j'ai en particulier apprécié l'honnêté du garçon qui dit "le rapport sexuel en lui-même, ça nécessite une pénétration", parce que beaucoup de gens le pensent mais n'osent par le dire. Dommage, car ce serait bien que nos jeunes intègrent l'idée que le rapport sexuel en lui-même, ça ne nécessite rien du tout, et que la pénétration n'est pas la finalité de la sexualité, simplement une de ses expressions.

J'ai déjà dit que ça me manquait tout ça, n'est ce pas?

A few things I wanted to mention before I head for bed :

- Universal is apparently tracking fan-run sites that sell fan-made merchandising revolving around Serenity. The Blue Sun site has already been shut down, and now it's Black Market Beagles site that's shutting down for fears of legal action. The very talented 11th Hour has also been contacted by Universal. It's scary and it's pissing me off. The fans have done so much for Firefly and Serenity, they did so much guerrila marketing, and then Universal was more than happy to have very talented artists willing to come up with designs and fans that would buy them.

- 6-word science-fiction. Authors were asked to tell 6-word stories, and Joss is included. Some of them are just brilliant.

- It seems more and more likely the MAG could hire me, pretty much for the job I'm doing right now (basically Volunteer Coordinator... *wink* wields_a_pen). For that however, we need to get a grant from the Conseil Général d'Ile de France, but we met with them a couple of weeks ago and they seemed pretty confident. I'm crossing my fingers, because that would be pretty much the best solution to my whole job issue.

So. This is basically the "behind the scenes" for yesterday's photoshoot. I never thought I'd end up with so many people probing me to take their pictures and having fun. Which is an excellent thing, because it's really hard (I find, anyway) to take a good picture that could be used for a poster and at the same time have people posing be relaxed and happy.

The first prize of the day, though, goes to Pauline. That girl is just made to be photographed. Beyond the fact she looks great on photos, she's also amazing to photograph: she doesn't need to be directed too much, comes up with positions and happy faces and intimate behaviors all on her own, as long as you put someone she likes in her arms. (I'm assuming that she'd find it harder to pretend happiness and intimacy with people she doesn't like... *g*)

About the two pictures on top... I love the frame and the two couples. They're both terribly adorable and contrasts are perfect : shirts, or skin colors, or gazes, or overall looks, different enough to stand out but still they really work together. I really love those two shots.

Anyway... so... click the cut if you're ready to die from TheCute!!!! *g*

( Cuteness overload underneath. You've been warned. )

PS : If you have any comments to make in relation to the actual Poster Project, please do. Like a picture or position you like, or whatever... I need your input! :)

I think we beat all records for a debate today : I had to leave at 12 from home and I was only home by 6, because it was all the way in Fontainebleau. Actually, if we end up doing that intervention in Normandie, it'll be even worse. Whee!

The debate was lovely though - it was an all boys class, but they were great to talk to. Very calm, mostly listened to each other, we joked around a few times, it was very relaxed. The place was just amazing, too - the school's quite isolated, in the middle of fields, and it just felt so - relaxed, again. Weather was great, compared to what we've been having in Paris - a little warm sun, soft breeze, just perfect. Made me long for a smaller city, for grass all around and silence. Hm. Now I'm thinking about Phillips and the fields all around campus. Anyway. Confirmed what I thought : I could not live my whole life in Paris, especially not raise my kids here.

Back to the debate, the boys were all right with homosexuality overall, though their heads were full of stereotypes. It's interesting because when we don't have to discuss about homosexuality in itself, much more interesting things come up. What was incredible about that class (they were Terminales, aka 12th graders) is the underlying sexism. Because the conversation was laid back and we made it clear they could say what they wanted, it slowly emerged, all the sexism our society still manages to foster despite the fact everybody claims men and women are equal :
- the problem with gay guys is that they get penetrated, aka they "lower" themselves to the role of women
- a gay couple is harder to accept than a lesbian couple because women are tender, and two tender people are okay together, but men represent strength, authority, and that clashes together
- kid can't be raised by two moms or two dads because then it'd be unbalanced : because a dad does outdoors activity with his kids whereas a mom takes care of the inside activities
What amazes me is that they made those points very calmly, not meaning badly at all - it wasn't an insult at all to say that. What amazes even more is really that somehow, society still manages to teach those values to kids that, honestly, didn't seem stupid at all. It's all the more scary that I think it's an unconscious process, that very few parents actually teach all this to their kids - the kids just unconsciously get it from everything around them. Something like the fact heterosexuality is taught by default by society, just through commercials, cartoons, textbooks, everything, except this lurking sexism is somewhat more subtle.

Julie, a girl who's in a her third year of Philosophical studies here at la Sorbonne, is probably going to do a Master that has to do with gender studies - I hate that in France, to get anywhere interesting in philosophy, you have to get through all the French crap first. If I ever get the chance, I really wanna take a few philosophy classes when I go back to the US or Canada. And get to know more about gender studies. Damn it, why is education so expensive in those countries?

Oh, also, I'd turn the radio onto France Inter earlier and we had to chance to hear the lovely Philippe De Villiers (whose website with a little flash animation that says "Popular Patriotism" - oh yeah, good start man). It's simply staggering the number of idiotic things he manages to say in just a few minutes. He's obsessed about France's "islamisation" and thinks that being French is "an honor, not a right". Poor guy really should have lived in the XIXth Century, because he would have fit right in the century of the Nation State. Today? Not so much. With so many issues being international more than national, how can you stress nationality as a key concept? Truth is, it's not what matters anymore. Being French doesn't really mean anything. And if anything, it's not a wonderful thing - France has its good sides and its bad ones (the fact the "nation of human rights" gave women the rights to vote years after everybody else, and still won't think about gay marriage, are two small examples we tend to be slightly too full of yourselves as a nation), but mostly there's nothing intrisincly great about being French, which is what the guy seems to imply. Anyway. I find him slightly more scary than Le Pen in the sense that most people have labelled Le Pen as utter crap, whereas I'm afraid what this guy says could appeal to way more people than should be acceptable.

Anyhoot. Turned out to be quite a political post. Not that it's a bad thing. Off to watch some Transgeneration... (probably ep 1 again)

South Dakota Senate passes abortion ban bill.

It's bad in itself, but mostly it's gonna go to the Supreme Court and challenge Roe v. Wade, and that's not just scary, it's FUCKING UNBELIEVABLE. Raaaaahh!!!!! *headdesk* *headdesk* *headdesk* *headdesk* And the worst part is that it's a fucking female. democrat. who sponsored the bill. *gets big, big, big slapping urges*


Plus, I'm annoyed once more at all the work with the high school debates, and the prospect of having to show up early next Thursday at the high school, especially since I have already 4 hours of intervention planned. Sometimes I just really want to throw it all away. I have four-day weekends every week, and yet I feel like I get no time off, ever. Urgh.

And tonight Emilie's coming for dinner and to try the hard drives thing on Harken, but the thought we're probably not gonna figure it out can't even get me cranky anymore.

Librarians ROCK MY SOCKS. Thank you to the ALA for saying this - it's blatant, but apparently it has some trouble getting through some people's minds. Gee. I so need to be a librarian. Can you be a politician, a librarian, a teacher and an activist all at once ?

Had a lovely evening tonight at the MAG. We watched Du ska nog se att det går över, internationally known as Don't worry, it will probably pass. It was nice, though uneven - one of the girls, My, totally looked like a mix between my friend Julia and scarletsky21, therefore lovely. The third one, Natalie, completely reminded me of Violette for a few takes where she was facing the camera with her hair loose.

Anyway, mostly it was nice to meet people. There were two couples there at first, both of which looked like cuteness incarnated. I'll probably talk about this more tomorrow. One of the girls, Pauline, had the best. look. ever. With short (but not too much) hair all spiked, it looked ever so good. I heart her and her girlfriend. Hopefully I'll be able to go there some more in the next couple of weeks and then I'll apply to be a "receptionist", which is really the person welcoming new people who show up and talking to them and making them feel at ease. I'd love to help that way. I like the people there so far, so it's a definite plus.

On that note, I'm off to dream about my amazing fan_elune who'll be here in 15 days and whom I can't wait to hug and kiss and snuggle to.