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greenie_breizhI'm attempting to upgrade to the next version of Ubuntu, Karmic Koala, without ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
yodah holding my hand! Let's hope I don't make my computer implode (lol) and also that does not take the 6 hours that it's currently saying it'll need, because I'm going to be way sooner than that.
And you should all watch this music video by The Twang. I love the song but I find the music video itself really cool, there's something about it that makes me happy. :)
I haven't been doing a lot (aka any) anti-homophobia workshops this term because it's been so busy with trying to get interviews done and school and applications and work and everything, but since things have eased up a little bit in the past couple of weeks so I signed myself up for a few. It's funny because I still remember when I was running the program at the MAG, I would get grumpy about having to go to schools far away and all, and then I would get there and do the workshop and LOVE it and feel stupid for having been grumpy about it. I sort of do the same here - when I have to wake up super early to get to a school, I'm all >.> but I have yet to do a workshop that doesn't leave me all :D and energetic. Even when the kids say a lot of bullshit (and sometimes they really do), there's just something about getting to talk about it with them, about opening up that conversation and be the first one (or one of the first) to explain to them without getting angry or uncomfortable, that you don't choose to be gay/what bisexual is/why 'that's so gay' is hurtful/what transgender means. I just get so much happy energy from doing that.
- My first workshop "back", I did in an all-boy grade 10 class, where one boy very bluntly asked, "why would anyone want to have something up their ass?" I was like, score! Because him bringing up very explicit sexual stuff gives me license to talk about it, so we had a whole conversation about sexual practices and how different people like different things and it's about what you and your partner like, regardless of your identity. A+. I loved these boys because some of them were not super allies, but they asked questions and (mostly) listened and talked and I much, much prefer that to the classes that go all quiet.
- The next week I did a very small grade 9 class, but they were wonderful. I never got past the original brainstorm exercise because they had so many questions, I just rolled with them and what they were curious about (that's how I used to do it with the MAG and it's still my favorite style). The one slightly awkward moment was when the teacher asked me to address pedophilia (and the myth that gay guys are pedophiles), which... I don't know that kids are very aware of that stereotype, it tends to be more adults, and I think the students were more confused than anything. But that aside, it was a wonderful conversation with kids who were amazingly curious and thoughtful and open, especially considering one of the girls in the class had recently passed away. :(
- Then this morning I headed back to an elementary school where I've done a few interviews for a workshop with Taylor in a grade 5 class. Very different atmosphere, partly because they were younger, and partly because there were like, 3 adults in the room including their teacher and the principal, lol. Because they were SUCH an amazing bunch. Seriously, so many insightful comments, from so many different students. We were defining "gay", and not only did the kids differentiate between love and attraction, but this one boy, he raises his hand and goes "it's when you like someone of the same gender as you". THESE KIDS WERE LIKE 9, GUYS. ♥ ♥ They had wonderful comments about how gay is only a bad word if you say it in a mean way, and how it would make people feel left out if you use it in a bad way, and how there are no boy colors and girl colors and and and. They were so receptive to the transgender stuff, too. It was so unlike most of the workshops I've done because it was so much more bullying-oriented, but it was wonderful in so many ways, I heart these grade 5s so so much. The interesting thing is 1) the reason why we were called in for this workshop is that the boys have been calling the girls lesbians (and yet so many boys said amazing things) and 2) a parent apparently got pretty angry at the principal for having us come in (condoning a lifestyle, talking about sex, blah blah blah). The principal is super supportive but not 100% comfortable yet so he was pretty flustered (in a calm way, whatever, it makes sense in my head) and pretty excited that he'd stood up to this parent and pretty much showed her the door because he wasn't going to tolerate homophobic language in his school and too bad for her if she had a problem with that. So we ended up talking with him a bit before and after the workshop, he took notes during the workshop so that he had more ammo for when the mom comes back to him about this. He was pretty happy because he'd noticed the mom's boy started out by refusing to look at us, and then after 15 minutes, he changed positions and started looking towards the front of the class, so he was hoping that the body language meant the boy had opened up to our message. But that kid is probably hearing a lot of shit at home. :( It makes me even happier than his classmates were so insightful, so he heard a lot of great things not just from us, but from other kids in the class.
Anyway, wow that was long! I just like to write a few things about these workshops go, and leave a trace of how much I loved talking with these kids. It's moments like these that I know whatever I end up doing, it will probably have to be related to some kind of classroom, because this makes me too happy to dismiss. Which is a nice reminder since I'm less than 24h away from getting like 40 exams to mark and soon I will be bitching about how much I hate being a TA.
yodah holding my hand! Let's hope I don't make my computer implode (lol) and also that does not take the 6 hours that it's currently saying it'll need, because I'm going to be way sooner than that.And you should all watch this music video by The Twang. I love the song but I find the music video itself really cool, there's something about it that makes me happy. :)
I haven't been doing a lot (aka any) anti-homophobia workshops this term because it's been so busy with trying to get interviews done and school and applications and work and everything, but since things have eased up a little bit in the past couple of weeks so I signed myself up for a few. It's funny because I still remember when I was running the program at the MAG, I would get grumpy about having to go to schools far away and all, and then I would get there and do the workshop and LOVE it and feel stupid for having been grumpy about it. I sort of do the same here - when I have to wake up super early to get to a school, I'm all >.> but I have yet to do a workshop that doesn't leave me all :D and energetic. Even when the kids say a lot of bullshit (and sometimes they really do), there's just something about getting to talk about it with them, about opening up that conversation and be the first one (or one of the first) to explain to them without getting angry or uncomfortable, that you don't choose to be gay/what bisexual is/why 'that's so gay' is hurtful/what transgender means. I just get so much happy energy from doing that.
- My first workshop "back", I did in an all-boy grade 10 class, where one boy very bluntly asked, "why would anyone want to have something up their ass?" I was like, score! Because him bringing up very explicit sexual stuff gives me license to talk about it, so we had a whole conversation about sexual practices and how different people like different things and it's about what you and your partner like, regardless of your identity. A+. I loved these boys because some of them were not super allies, but they asked questions and (mostly) listened and talked and I much, much prefer that to the classes that go all quiet.
- The next week I did a very small grade 9 class, but they were wonderful. I never got past the original brainstorm exercise because they had so many questions, I just rolled with them and what they were curious about (that's how I used to do it with the MAG and it's still my favorite style). The one slightly awkward moment was when the teacher asked me to address pedophilia (and the myth that gay guys are pedophiles), which... I don't know that kids are very aware of that stereotype, it tends to be more adults, and I think the students were more confused than anything. But that aside, it was a wonderful conversation with kids who were amazingly curious and thoughtful and open, especially considering one of the girls in the class had recently passed away. :(
- Then this morning I headed back to an elementary school where I've done a few interviews for a workshop with Taylor in a grade 5 class. Very different atmosphere, partly because they were younger, and partly because there were like, 3 adults in the room including their teacher and the principal, lol. Because they were SUCH an amazing bunch. Seriously, so many insightful comments, from so many different students. We were defining "gay", and not only did the kids differentiate between love and attraction, but this one boy, he raises his hand and goes "it's when you like someone of the same gender as you". THESE KIDS WERE LIKE 9, GUYS. ♥ ♥ They had wonderful comments about how gay is only a bad word if you say it in a mean way, and how it would make people feel left out if you use it in a bad way, and how there are no boy colors and girl colors and and and. They were so receptive to the transgender stuff, too. It was so unlike most of the workshops I've done because it was so much more bullying-oriented, but it was wonderful in so many ways, I heart these grade 5s so so much. The interesting thing is 1) the reason why we were called in for this workshop is that the boys have been calling the girls lesbians (and yet so many boys said amazing things) and 2) a parent apparently got pretty angry at the principal for having us come in (condoning a lifestyle, talking about sex, blah blah blah). The principal is super supportive but not 100% comfortable yet so he was pretty flustered (in a calm way, whatever, it makes sense in my head) and pretty excited that he'd stood up to this parent and pretty much showed her the door because he wasn't going to tolerate homophobic language in his school and too bad for her if she had a problem with that. So we ended up talking with him a bit before and after the workshop, he took notes during the workshop so that he had more ammo for when the mom comes back to him about this. He was pretty happy because he'd noticed the mom's boy started out by refusing to look at us, and then after 15 minutes, he changed positions and started looking towards the front of the class, so he was hoping that the body language meant the boy had opened up to our message. But that kid is probably hearing a lot of shit at home. :( It makes me even happier than his classmates were so insightful, so he heard a lot of great things not just from us, but from other kids in the class.
Anyway, wow that was long! I just like to write a few things about these workshops go, and leave a trace of how much I loved talking with these kids. It's moments like these that I know whatever I end up doing, it will probably have to be related to some kind of classroom, because this makes me too happy to dismiss. Which is a nice reminder since I'm less than 24h away from getting like 40 exams to mark and soon I will be bitching about how much I hate being a TA.
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no subject
Date: 2009-12-21 07:21 pm (UTC)Anecdotally, you can show them a box for some dildos/butt plugs, they often feature a heterosexual couple, and since these things sell, clearly someone who's not a gay man is enjoying a little ass stimulation.
LOL I do send some of them over to Dan Savage but he get so many “odd” questions and people calling in I think that may have actually made things worse! Plus he really is on a “monogamy not for everyone train” lately, which I understand since he’s doing it as a reaction to the overwhelming expectations of monogamy in our culture, but since he goes on about it SO MUCH it’s caused one friend to make a comment about you “typical fark everything in sight even when supposedly in a relationship gay dude”. Kinsey’s not usually the best person to recommend in these situations, IMO (definitely not for my crowd, and even I am not thrilled with him due to the flaws in his methodology, which are significant). I was hoping there had been something more recent, but ultimately, you are correct that it doesn’t matter and the root of it anyway. Even if most gay men are non-monogamous and into watersports (just as an example) it still doesn’t justify denying civil rights or basic human respect to anyone, regardless of orientation. And that’s usually the point I get my friends to agree with me, but I thought if there was a way to clear up misconceptions through dry statistical data that would have been helpful.
Oh, penis-centrism, what would I do without you.
As long as they're just baffled, though, I don't mind, I'll be over there having good sex (possibly better than them, since clearly their idea of it is pretty limited) and feeling a little bit bad for the women who are baffled/have partners who are baffled.
Lesbians seem to fly under the radar a lot (I wonder is that prevalent in the gay community as well?) I think it’s a combination of “straight male fantasy” coupled with “well they aren’t really having sex-sex”. Like a perceived harmlessness. That’s just what I’ve noticed. But if its two gay dudes, you “know” at least one of them must be a guy betraying his dudliness and we can’t have that, no no no. I feel the worst for transsexuals though.
Anecdotally, you can show them a box for some dildos/butt plugs, they often feature a heterosexual couple, and since these things sell, clearly someone who's not a gay man is enjoying a little ass stimulation.</i>
LOL I do send some of them over to Dan Savage but he get so many “odd” questions and people calling in I think that may have actually made things worse! Plus he really is on a “monogamy not for everyone train” lately, which I understand since he’s doing it as a reaction to the overwhelming expectations of monogamy in our culture, but since he goes on about it SO MUCH it’s caused one friend to make a comment about you “typical fark everything in sight even when supposedly in a relationship gay dude”. Kinsey’s not usually the best person to recommend in these situations, IMO (definitely not for my crowd, and even I am not thrilled with him due to the flaws in his methodology, which are significant). I was hoping there had been something more recent, but ultimately, you are correct that it doesn’t matter and the root of it anyway. Even if most gay men are non-monogamous and into watersports (just as an example) it still doesn’t justify denying civil rights or basic human respect to anyone, regardless of orientation. And that’s usually the point I get my friends to agree with me, but I thought if there was a way to clear up misconceptions through dry statistical data that would have been helpful.
<i>Oh, penis-centrism, what would I do without you.
As long as they're just baffled, though, I don't mind, I'll be over there having good sex (possibly better than them, since clearly their idea of it is pretty limited) and feeling a little bit bad for the women who are baffled/have partners who are baffled.</i>
Lesbians seem to fly under the radar a lot (I wonder is that prevalent in the gay community as well?) I think it’s a combination of “straight male fantasy” coupled with “well they aren’t really having sex-sex”. Like a perceived harmlessness. That’s just what I’ve noticed. But if its two gay dudes, you “know” at least one of them must be a guy betraying his dudliness and we can’t have that, no no no. I feel the worst for transsexuals though.
<i.(This discussion is ridiculously long, lol. But in a good way!)</i>
This discussion has provided an excellent procrastination opportunity for me