First off, I think you are dead right about this, but again, a little off topic – are there like survey’s or statistics anywhere that map out just what it is people (not just queer folk) do on average?
The only thing I can think of is the Kinsey report. It's pretty old but if in the 50's people were already not as hetero and monogamous and vanilla as we thought they were, now that these stigmas has somewhat diminished (or at least shifted), I can't imagine we're more hetero and monogamous and vanilla.
But ultimately the numbers don't matter. It's not about what people do do, it's about what people can do if they want to. Aka there is nothing about being gay that means you have to enjoy anal sex. The two are completely unrelated - one has to do with sexual identity, with your object of desire (male, female or something else) and one has to do with sexual practice. The fact that you're straight doesn't mean you have to enjoy bondage - the two are independent. Some straight people do, some straight people don't.
If your friends can't take your word for it that you know gay people and they have sex at home with a single partner, then there is little that will change their minds, and they will always find an excuse to not believe any data you present them with. If they can't understand that sexual identity is unrelated to sexual practice, I don't know that there's much you can do, except repeat yourself over and over again whenever it comes up, until enough people have done so around them that it finally computes.
Anecdotally, you can show them a box for some dildos/butt plugs, they often feature a heterosexual couple, and since these things sell, clearly someone who's not a gay man is enjoying a little ass stimulation.
And it may amuse you to know that lesbians are a complete bafflement to them. ;)
Oh, penis-centrism, what would I do without you.
As long as they're just baffled, though, I don't mind, I'll be over there having good sex (possibly better than them, since clearly their idea of it is pretty limited) and feeling a little bit bad for the women who are baffled/have partners who are baffled.
I love ass-master, btw. LOL. It's never come up in a school but now I'm hoping it will. ;)
(This discussion is ridiculously long, lol. But in a good way!)
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Date: 2009-12-20 07:00 pm (UTC)The only thing I can think of is the Kinsey report. It's pretty old but if in the 50's people were already not as hetero and monogamous and vanilla as we thought they were, now that these stigmas has somewhat diminished (or at least shifted), I can't imagine we're more hetero and monogamous and vanilla.
But ultimately the numbers don't matter. It's not about what people do do, it's about what people can do if they want to. Aka there is nothing about being gay that means you have to enjoy anal sex. The two are completely unrelated - one has to do with sexual identity, with your object of desire (male, female or something else) and one has to do with sexual practice. The fact that you're straight doesn't mean you have to enjoy bondage - the two are independent. Some straight people do, some straight people don't.
If your friends can't take your word for it that you know gay people and they have sex at home with a single partner, then there is little that will change their minds, and they will always find an excuse to not believe any data you present them with. If they can't understand that sexual identity is unrelated to sexual practice, I don't know that there's much you can do, except repeat yourself over and over again whenever it comes up, until enough people have done so around them that it finally computes.
Anecdotally, you can show them a box for some dildos/butt plugs, they often feature a heterosexual couple, and since these things sell, clearly someone who's not a gay man is enjoying a little ass stimulation.
And it may amuse you to know that lesbians are a complete bafflement to them. ;)
Oh, penis-centrism, what would I do without you.
As long as they're just baffled, though, I don't mind, I'll be over there having good sex (possibly better than them, since clearly their idea of it is pretty limited) and feeling a little bit bad for the women who are baffled/have partners who are baffled.
I love ass-master, btw. LOL. It's never come up in a school but now I'm hoping it will. ;)
(This discussion is ridiculously long, lol. But in a good way!)